Every year gaming journalists are inundated with requests from PR people who want us to interview their clients, meet with their clients and drink the same Kool-Aid their clients are drinking about their games/peripherals/apple pie at E3. That’s fine. We all have jobs to do, and we all have things we want others to hear and see. I completely respect that, and without the help of many good PR professionals, we journalists would not be able to get DailyGame readers relevant game information in a timely manner.
But where on God’s green Earth did someone get the idea that I, as a contributor to DailyGame, give two shakes about the world’s fastest female guitarist?
I’m not joking.
I’m sure The Great Kat is a fine person and a fine guitarist, but in no way, shape or form do I want to interview her for DailyGame. I’ve never heard of her, and I highly doubt many of our readers have, either. Yes, we all have interests beyond videogames, and those are bound to include various musical talents and aspirations. But did you know The Great Kat is the world’s fastest guitarist? Did you know she’ll be at E3? Did you know she’ll be there promoting a new DVD? And most important, did you even know they actually document crap like “world’s fastest guitarist”?
People are surely going to email me and say “Yes, we actually did know that, and it’s nice to hear she has a new DVD.” That’s not my point. My point is that I’m associated with DailyGame. Not DailyGuitar. Not DailyTunes. Not DailyRandomCrap. DailyGame. We cover videogames, and we occasionally dabble in DVDs, but only because the Xbox and PS2 can play them. You know why journalists can seem bitter at times? Because we’re inundated with pitches that hold no relevance to our audience. If The Great Kat happened to perform a super-fast song on a game soundtrack, I might be a little more interested. But she doesn’t. And I’m not interested. Go away.
Now, what I am interested in is videogames, and E3 2005 is bound to show us a bunch of great ones. Microsoft, which can officially now be called Worst Possible Secret Keeper In The History of Humanity, is probably going to show Perfect Dark Zero, Kameo, the next Project Gotham Racing and a handful of other games for the Xbox 360. How do we know? Because they’ve sprung more leaks than a cheesecloth dam.
Oh look, the console will be called Xbox 360 to make it sound more advanced than the PlayStation 3! Oh look, the Xbox 360 will have multiple processors and perhaps embedded DRAM! Oh look, the Xbox 360 will have wireless controllers and a surprisingly sleek case design! Yeah, somebody’s got a problem with leaks, and no size of gaming Depends is going to fix it now.
Sony’s bound to show some awesome games as well, although they’re infinitely better at keeping secrets — and requiring their developer partners to do the same — so we have no idea what their surprises will be. Hence the term “surprise.” You catch that, Microsoft? But do you want to know what most interests me about Sony this year? How they’ll react to the Marketing Team Pissing Contest they’re engaged in right now with Microsoft.
Sony thought they were hot stuff moving their press conference ahead of Microsoft. It was a great move, to be sure, and bound to steal some of Microsoft’s E3 thunder. Never mind the fact that it wreaked havoc on journalist’s travel schedules; it was a smart marketing move. Until Microsoft sent Sony into checkmate with its MTV debut three days before. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when Sony’s marketing team heard that news. You know what flies like; I’m sure there was more than enough of that word thrown around in Sony HQ that day. I can’t wait to see how they handle the rest of E3.
Then there’s Nintendo. Poor Nintendo. They’ve been left in third place this console generation, and they’re even sucking hind teat in the press conference race, scrambling to fill the slot once occupied by Sony. Last year Nintendo’s Reggie Fils-Aime blew us away with the aggression and passion his company had for the industry and its rightful place in it. Passion ain’t gonna cut it this year. Nintendo needs to come out swinging, because the company’s grip on the industry is loosening as I write this. Sony and Microsoft are duking it out, putting Nintendo in a prime position to come under the radar and sneak away with some gamers. While we’re all paying attention to the Great Pissing Match at E3 on Monday, Nintendo needs to warm the seats and prime the marketing pump for Tuesday. The Revolution needs to be just that: a revolution. If it’s not, Nintendo is going to lose more than pride.
So how does this all tie into The Great Kat and her fast fingers? She’s a microcosm for just how quickly the next generation of hardware and games, not to mention E3, is bearing down upon us. The hardware manufacturers are scrambling to out-position one another, and it’s entertaining to watch. It’s also encouraging, since increased competition breeds better games for all of us. But it’s all happening at an incredibly fast pace, one that nobody could have predicted even one year ago. The jockeying for position, the speculation, the teaser ads and underground marketing campaigns … it’s all fantastically entertaining and great to hear. Unlike, no offense, The Great Kat and her world’s fastest guitar playing.
— Duke Controller
